Crane

You need to be level 25 to use the shop-bought training weapons, which cost 1,000,000 gold apiece.  A Royal Sword or Orcsbane is probably best for a Fighter and Paladin; for a Cleric your best bet is to heal Elven Barrow Wights and for the Mage, kill Coral Caterpillars in Elmshire - their HP is low enough that they die to a single Shock but grant 7,500 XP on death.  Just don't take too long or they give you a truly deadly poison.

Speedy and I got a small hoard tonight.

Shadow Wraith - Shadow Soul
Bandit Leader - Embalmned Dagger

And the big one (which was a pretty long fight):

An angelic ensemble sings to your melody as your Sword of Light strikes down Vampire Patriarch for 213 points of damage.
Beast killed a Vampire Patriarch.
Vampire Patriarch: Don't you worry, I'm not done yet! You better be looking over your shoulder tonight.
A Vampire Patriarch dropped a Darksigil Gloves.
Beast got the Darksigil Gloves.
Beast: o.o
Crane: Oh nice!!

I won the random!

You assassinated a Malok.
You got 10022 gold pieces.
No! I am sorry my father.. I have failed you.
You notice a tarnished relic around Malok's neck, and mug him for it.
You got an Amulet of Sylos.

Wario won the random.

A couple of small 1-alt successes (I didn't win any of the drops though):

Wario assassinated a Rogue Corsair Skirmisher.
Rogue Corsair Skirmisher: She's going down!
Its balloon torn to shreds, the Corsair pilot loses control and crashes at speed into the ground, detonating its payload and leaving nothing but splinters and a small crater in the ground.
Despite being wrecked, attached to the gunner's crossbow is a scope that miraculously still works.
Wario got the Spyglass.

Bowser assassinated a Malok.
No! I am sorry my father.. I have failed you.
A Malok dropped an Emerald Dagger.
Bowser got the Emerald Dagger.

I'll be interested in buying a pair.